Trans-Atlantic Phone Calls
by aaronlisa
Summary: Even if Serge can't go home anymore, he needs the calls from his sister in the middle of the night that tell him about home and his family.


Disclaimer: _Ab Fab_ belongs to Jennifer Saunders, the BBC and company.

Prompts: Written for smallfandomfest Fest #17 for the prompt of Saffron & Serge and how late night phone calls always seem to revolve around one of Eddie's crazy schemes.

Notes: This spans the entire series up to 2012.

"Saffy, this is just temporary, I am just going off to uni and living here is rather inconvenient for me," Serge says.

"But I don't know if I can take care of Mum on my own," Saffron replies.

"Look I will be a phone call away and you've got Gran and Justin to help you out," Serge tells her. "You're not on your own."

* * *

"They lied to me Serge, they lied." Saffron cries over the phone.

He looks at the time and he sighs when he sees that it's three in the morning. What can be so important that his sister is calling him at this time.

"What did they lie about this time Saffy?" Serge asks.

"They told me that Mum was going to go to Betty Ford," Saffron says.

"And you believed that?" Serge says with a chuckle.

"Yes I did," Saffron coldly replies. "Rather silly of me, just like I was being silly to think that you'd come back home."

"Saffy don't start, it's rather prestigious that I've been accepted at Columbia to do my Masters."

"Yes it is," Saffron says. "I shouldn't have bugged you."

His sister hangs up the phone without another word and Serge feels like the world's worse brother.

He's not sure what time it is London but it's three in the morning in New York and the phone rings. Martin rolls away from him as Serge goes to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Serge, it's me," Saffron quietly says.

She sounds far older than eighteen and he feels guilty about leaving her with their Mum and Gran along with Patsy. He doubts that Justin has been overly helpful.

"What is it Saffy?"

"Our grandfather passed away," Saffron tells him. "His funeral is in two days. I know that doesn't give you enough time to get here but Gran insisted that we didn't prolong things."

"Oh," Serge says as he thinks about his grandfather.

He was always uncomfortable around the man. His grandfather had always seem to like Saffy more anyhow.

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" Serge asks.

"From New York?" Saffron asks. "No, not really Serge, I just thought you'd want to know."

They spend a few more minutes talking about nothing before Saffron says that it must be super late for him and tells him goodbye.

When Martin asks that morning, Serge tells him that his sister had called because of something his mother had done instead of telling him the truth.

* * *

"You'll never believe what's happened now!" Saffron all but shouts on the other end of the phone.

Serge cringes as Martin rolls over in his sleep.

"What has she done now?" Serge asks as he slips out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom.

He and Martin are living in a loft, which means there's nowhere he can to for privacy other than the bathroom. He hates it. He hates always being on display, always being somewhere that Martin can see him and can see what he's doing. His therapist is trying to link how he feels about the loft with how he feels about his mother. Serge keeps insisting that the two are completely unrelated.

"She and Patsy swapped my video for my presentation for some home-made porn video of Patsy's exploits."

Serge chuckles about it. He can't help it even when he hears Saffron's frustrated sigh.

"How did your professor take it?"

"He's allowed me to turn in my video and he's told me that he will grade me on that but Serge you don't understand, he looked at me like he felt pity for me. He recognized my mother as the one person in the video passed out, sleeping while everyone else was having a go at it."

He wants to ask if she's more embarrassed by the fact that Patsy was having more fun than their mother or by the fact that the tapes got swapped. It sounds like something his therapist would ask him. Serge sighs as he tries to figure out what to say.

 _At least your professor will probably give you a better mark then._

 _Well at least Mum was asleep and you weren't having to watch her having sex._

Nothing sounds right. It all sounds like he's desperate to sound sympathetic when he's not. He had told her to move out, he had warned her that their mother would have a negative impact on her studies but Saffy had ignored his advice.

In the end, Serge goes with honesty.

"You should move out, then you won't have to worry about something like this happening again."

"Gran needs me, she's getting worse and Mum won't listen that I think Gran needs someone around the house to keep an eye on her."

"Saffy, they're adults, stop try to parent Mum. And hire someone to look after Gran then," Serge flatly says.

"It's easy for you to say that," Saffron resignedly says. "You're in New York."

Before he can respond, Saffron is mumbling something about the time difference and how clueless she is and then hanging up. Serge wants to throw the phone against the wall, he wants to stomp and shout but he can't because if he does, Martin will know about it. There's no damned privacy in this stupid loft.

As it is, Martin rolls over when Serge slips back into bed and wraps his arms around him.

"Everything alright in London?"

"It was nothing," Serge says.

This time he can't lie and say it was some stupid exploit of his mother's because it was but it was so much more than that.

"I'm getting married Serge and I found it awful that you can't get over your insecurities about Mum and come for my wedding."

"You barely know Paolo, how can you be rushing into marriage, are you sure this isn't about your issues with Mum?" Serge asks.

He knows that she's speechless and he knows that what he's just said is beyond cruel but he can't take the words back and he won't apologize. He's in exile by choice and he worries about Saffron. Worries that he'd abandoned her so many years ago for university and then New York because he couldn't handle living with their mother and Patsy anymore. Did he damage Saffron by being selfish? Is he no better than his mother?

When Saffron finally finds her voice, she calmly and politely tells him that he can't understand since he's in New York and she's in London. If only he could see with his own eyes, how much she and Paolo are in love, then he wouldn't say such hurtful things. She hangs up without saying goodbye.

Two weeks later, it's 11:30 PM in New York and 4:30 AM in London when she calls and even Serge can tell she's been crying despite how happy she is forcing herself to sound. He can also tell that she's been drinking and he wants to blame her friend Sarah, or their mother or even Patsy but he knows that if he had been there for her, if he had just flown home for her marriage then things would be different.

"Well you were right about Paolo," Saffron says. "Turns out that he just wanted a wife. Didn't matter who. He left with the stuck up cow that Mum wanted as my bridesmaid over Sarah."

He can hear Sarah drunkenly giggle in the background.

"And now Mum and Patsy are on my honeymoon and I am alone. You were right Serge, you're always right."

"Oh Saffy," Serge says.

He knows that Saffron is very much aware of the time difference between New York and London. However, he suspects that she calls him when it's the middle of the night in New York as a form of punishment. He abandoned her and now he won't come home. What's worse is he'll have a fight with Martin over his sister's late night calls in the morning over breakfast. What can he do though? He did abandon her and he feels guilty over it. And Martin's right, he should put his foot down and let his sister know that it's unacceptable when she calls.

But he won't because he owes it to his sister to be there for her when she calls him. No matter how disruptive it is.

"Mother and Patsy haven taken to going to Marilyn Manson concerts now," Saffron resignedly says.

"What's the harm in that?"

"It's not that I have an issue with them going to rock concerts or the like but it's when they come home and bring their disreputable friends with them and have an obnoxiously loud party in the lounge."

"Have you tried talking to Mum?"

Saffron sighs. "You know how well that goes over. I had to clean up sick from the kitchen sink yesterday."

"Get a maid service, Mum can afford it."

"The last two agencies have told me that they refuse to ever work with me again."

"Offer them more money, Martin always tells me that no one ever says no when you slip them more money."

"Justin already told me to try that and it failed."

"Oh," Serge says. "Try hiring a maid yourself."

"Perhaps," Saffron says.

"What's really going on?" Serge asks.

He might not have seen his sister in years but he knows her well enough to know that she's probably in the kitchen, sitting at the table, phone in hand, while she bites on her lower lip, trying to work up the nerve to tell him the truth. A Marilyn Manson concert and a pigsty of a house is not enough to call him at 3:00 in the morning.

"Mother tricked me into baring my breasts and now some stupid fashion magazine is going to sell topless pictures of me on the Eiffel Tower because Patsy hates me."

"What?" Serge asks.

So Saffron explains everything and he understands that it's not the fact that she'll be topless in some French fashion magazine, it's the fact that her mother was so willing to have someone else pretend to be her daughter for some mother-daughter fashion spread that has hurt Saffron.

"Saffy, come out to New York for a week or two. Martin and I would love to have you. Hire a nurse for Gran and let Patsy and Mum deal with life without you."

"I'd love to but Sarah's gone off the rails again."

"Bring her with you," Serge offers.

"It's bad Serge, I can't deal with all of this on my own."

He eventually convinces her to stay with her father for a few nights while their mother does whatever it is that she does. He promises to find a service that will clean up the house while she's away and Serge wishes that he could overcome his own issues and go home.

His new therapist keeps telling him that he's with living with a man who's more like his mother than he'd cared to admit. Somewhere along the line, he's become his father. The thought scares him and Serge lies awake all night long, trying to figure out where things went wrong. How is it that Saffy's the strong one?

"Serge, mother is in New York!"

Saffy's panicked voice strikes fear in his heart. He can't just pack up and leave the state or even the city for the duration of his mother's stay in New York.

"Why is she here?"

"Fashion Week and she's already told me that she wants to see you," Saffron tells him. "I tried to tell her that you were in some conference in Boston but she refused to listen."

"Thanks Saffron, I will figure this out."

His therapist (the third in three years) tells him that he has to stop avoiding his mother. That running away from the woman who gave birth to him and raised him for better or for worse is immature and is only causing him further damage. Serge is already planning on getting a new therapist since this one doesn't quite understand what she's asking him to do. Seeing his mother is terrifying. He hasn't seen her since he was eighteen. He can't just run back to mummy and let her smother him.

Martin agrees with his therapist. He even tells Serge that he can't keep running away and hiding from his mother. How can he expect to help Saffron if he can't face his mother?

A week later, Serge is the one calling Saffron in the middle of the night. He knows it's only about three or four in the morning in London but he _needs_ to hear Saffron's voice, he needs to tell her what their mother has done now.

"Serge?" Saffron sleepily says.

He hates the fact that he's waking her up in the middle of the night when she's told him how many times their mother and Patsy have selfishly done that to her. Yet as he looks over that the table where his mother is fawning over his partner, he has to tell his sister.

"Saffy, it's horrible. Mother found me. Well she found Martin first and thought that he was me. She hates the fact that I work in a bookstore."

"What!" Saffron shouts into the phone. "You work in a bookstore? I thought you were going to become a professor."

"I couldn't Saffy, I couldn't handle the constant rejection and the constant putting yourself out there, it was too much. But I manage the shop and when the owner retires, I am going to buy it. It's amazing, Saffy."

"Oh Serge, that sounds lovely," Saffron tells him. Yet he can hear the disappointment in her voice.

If he chooses to ignore it, is it any different than when Saffron ignores his advice to pack up and leave their mother?

"What's worse Saffy is that she's adopted Martin as her son because he fits into some stereotypical image of what a gay New York man should be."

"Martin can be rather larger than life," Saffron says.

"Yes but that's not the point," Serge states. "Our mother would rather see my partner as her son because I fail to measure up."

"Serge, darling, listen to me," Saffron quietly says. "If Mum would rather pal around with Martin this week, let her. You won't have to deal with her, let Martin have all the fun of being Mum's perfect child, while you relax and take it easy. It's a rather perfect solution to everything, don't you think?"

The problem is that although she's right, it hurts him to know that his mother is so quick to replace him with someone else. For years, Saffron's called him up, upset that their mother had gone on and on about how perfect he is compared to his sister and now he's a failure. He's even worse than Saffron. At least their mother wants Saffy to be her child.

"I guess you're right."

"Are you okay Serge?" Saffron asks.

"I'm fine Saffy, it's just hard to handle Mum when I've not been around her in years."

He knows his sister knows that he's lying but what can he do, he's chosen things to be this way. It's own fault if his mother would rather fuss over Martin than him.

* * *

"I'm pregnant Serge," Saffron says as she tries not to cry.

"Do you want me to come home?" Serge asks.

"No, I agree with your therapist that you're not ready for that."

"But how are you going to break the news to Mum and Patsy?"

"I'll just have to tell her, I guess."

"Does she know about John?"

"In what sense?"

"That he's black?"

"No," Saffron says with a sigh. "He doesn't even know."

"Maybe you should tell him first," Serge suggests.

"Yes but I don't know how to tell him. Or Mum. He disapproves of her."

"Just tell him and then tell her," Serge says. "Like ripping off a band-aid."

"I wish I could just run away," Saffron says.

"Saffy this isn't like you, you're not like me. You're strong. Tell them and it'll all work out in the end."

They speak for a few more moments before they both say goodbye and Serge is left there in the dark, wondering how he's going to manage this. He's going to be the worse uncle ever. Just like he's the worse brother ever. His niece or nephew are never going to know him as anything more than a discombobulated voice on the other end of the phone because he can't work out his own issues with his own mother.

"I've done it Serge. I've kicked the pair of them out of the house."

"What?" Serge sleepily says.

He should be used to this once a week phone call in the middle of the night but it always seems to be a surprise for him.

"I've kicked Mum and Patsy out. It's my house and I don't see why I should have my daughter living in that insanity."

"But will Mum and Patsy do?"

Saffron sighs and there's a long pause before she responds.

"And why should I care what they do? They can go live at Patsy's apartment for all I care."

"Saffy, aren't you being a little harsh?"

"Harsh? That woman yelled at my daughter. She refuses to call Jane anything but Lola and she told me that I failed at my marriage with John because I realized that I am not meant to live with a polygamist. And Patsy just goaded her on. I'm done with them and if _you_ of all people think that I am being too harsh, then maybe I am done with you."

Saffron slams the phone done and Serge trembles in fear. He's a horrible brother but he needs Saffy and her late night calls. He can't do this without her.

"Saffy are you going to be okay?" Serge asks.

Their conversation has been mostly long pauses and awkwardness. What does one say when his sister has just come home after being in prison for two years.

"I'll be fine. Quite frankly, I let my ego get the better of me. I thought that I was doing something good to make up for all of mother's sins when I was just breaking the law. I know better."

"That's not what I mean," Serge says.

"Are you going to be okay going back to Mum's house and the chaos there."

"There's no need to be worried about me, I'll be fine with Mum and Patsy."

"Saffy, you know that..."

Saffron interrupts him. "Look Serge, it'll be fine. Prison was far too quiet and Mum and Patsy need me."

She doesn't explain and Serge doesn't ask.

It's the story of their many conversations since he walked out of his sister's life. One of them calls the other in the middle of the night on the pretence that they're still close to another, that they're still two halves of a whole. In reality, they're barely anything more than strangers now.

Maybe he should take Martin up on moving back to London to get a fresh start. His bookstore can function without him and there's not much in New York tying him there other than the fact that his mother's not there. What holds him back is that he's afraid that after twenty years away of going home and seeing that Saffron is a stranger to him.

The late night calls might be a charade of closeness but at least he can pretend that they mean something and that he's not a stranger in his sister's life.

((END))Title: Trans-Atlantic Phone Calls

Author: Aaronlisa

Fandom: _Absolutely Fabulous_

Pairing/Characters: Saffron Monsoon, Serge Turtle with mentions of Eddie Monsoon, Patsy Stone, Mrs. Monsoon, Justin, Marshall and Martin.

Rating: FR13

Disclaimer: _Ab Fab_ belongs to Jennifer Saunders, the BBC and company.

Prompts: Written for smallfandomfest Fest #17 for the prompt of Saffron & Serge and how late night phone calls always seem to revolve around one of Eddie's crazy schemes.

Notes: This spans the entire series up to 2012.

Summary: Even if Serge can't go home anymore, he needs the calls from his sister in the middle of the night that tell him about home and his family.

Word Count: 3268

"Saffy, this is just temporary, I am just going off to uni and living here is rather inconvenient for me," Serge says.

"But I don't know if I can take care of Mum on my own," Saffron replies.

"Look I will be a phone call away and you've got Gran and Justin to help you out," Serge tells her. "You're not on your own."

* * *

"They lied to me Serge, they lied." Saffron cries over the phone.

He looks at the time and he sighs when he sees that it's three in the morning. What can be so important that his sister is calling him at this time.

"What did they lie about this time Saffy?" Serge asks.

"They told me that Mum was going to go to Betty Ford," Saffron says.

"And you believed that?" Serge says with a chuckle.

"Yes I did," Saffron coldly replies. "Rather silly of me, just like I was being silly to think that you'd come back home."

"Saffy don't start, it's rather prestigious that I've been accepted at Columbia to do my Masters."

"Yes it is," Saffron says. "I shouldn't have bugged you."

His sister hangs up the phone without another word and Serge feels like the world's worse brother.

He's not sure what time it is London but it's three in the morning in New York and the phone rings. Martin rolls away from him as Serge goes to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Serge, it's me," Saffron quietly says.

She sounds far older than eighteen and he feels guilty about leaving her with their Mum and Gran along with Patsy. He doubts that Justin has been overly helpful.

"What is it Saffy?"

"Our grandfather passed away," Saffron tells him. "His funeral is in two days. I know that doesn't give you enough time to get here but Gran insisted that we didn't prolong things."

"Oh," Serge says as he thinks about his grandfather.

He was always uncomfortable around the man. His grandfather had always seem to like Saffy more anyhow.

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" Serge asks.

"From New York?" Saffron asks. "No, not really Serge, I just thought you'd want to know."

They spend a few more minutes talking about nothing before Saffron says that it must be super late for him and tells him goodbye.

When Martin asks that morning, Serge tells him that his sister had called because of something his mother had done instead of telling him the truth.

* * *

"You'll never believe what's happened now!" Saffron all but shouts on the other end of the phone.

Serge cringes as Martin rolls over in his sleep.

"What has she done now?" Serge asks as he slips out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom.

He and Martin are living in a loft, which means there's nowhere he can to for privacy other than the bathroom. He hates it. He hates always being on display, always being somewhere that Martin can see him and can see what he's doing. His therapist is trying to link how he feels about the loft with how he feels about his mother. Serge keeps insisting that the two are completely unrelated.

"She and Patsy swapped my video for my presentation for some home-made porn video of Patsy's exploits."

Serge chuckles about it. He can't help it even when he hears Saffron's frustrated sigh.

"How did your professor take it?"

"He's allowed me to turn in my video and he's told me that he will grade me on that but Serge you don't understand, he looked at me like he felt pity for me. He recognized my mother as the one person in the video passed out, sleeping while everyone else was having a go at it."

He wants to ask if she's more embarrassed by the fact that Patsy was having more fun than their mother or by the fact that the tapes got swapped. It sounds like something his therapist would ask him. Serge sighs as he tries to figure out what to say.

 _At least your professor will probably give you a better mark then._

 _Well at least Mum was asleep and you weren't having to watch her having sex._

Nothing sounds right. It all sounds like he's desperate to sound sympathetic when he's not. He had told her to move out, he had warned her that their mother would have a negative impact on her studies but Saffy had ignored his advice.

In the end, Serge goes with honesty.

"You should move out, then you won't have to worry about something like this happening again."

"Gran needs me, she's getting worse and Mum won't listen that I think Gran needs someone around the house to keep an eye on her."

"Saffy, they're adults, stop try to parent Mum. And hire someone to look after Gran then," Serge flatly says.

"It's easy for you to say that," Saffron resignedly says. "You're in New York."

Before he can respond, Saffron is mumbling something about the time difference and how clueless she is and then hanging up. Serge wants to throw the phone against the wall, he wants to stomp and shout but he can't because if he does, Martin will know about it. There's no damned privacy in this stupid loft.

As it is, Martin rolls over when Serge slips back into bed and wraps his arms around him.

"Everything alright in London?"

"It was nothing," Serge says.

This time he can't lie and say it was some stupid exploit of his mother's because it was but it was so much more than that.

"I'm getting married Serge and I found it awful that you can't get over your insecurities about Mum and come for my wedding."

"You barely know Paolo, how can you be rushing into marriage, are you sure this isn't about your issues with Mum?" Serge asks.

He knows that she's speechless and he knows that what he's just said is beyond cruel but he can't take the words back and he won't apologize. He's in exile by choice and he worries about Saffron. Worries that he'd abandoned her so many years ago for university and then New York because he couldn't handle living with their mother and Patsy anymore. Did he damage Saffron by being selfish? Is he no better than his mother?

When Saffron finally finds her voice, she calmly and politely tells him that he can't understand since he's in New York and she's in London. If only he could see with his own eyes, how much she and Paolo are in love, then he wouldn't say such hurtful things. She hangs up without saying goodbye.

Two weeks later, it's 11:30 PM in New York and 4:30 AM in London when she calls and even Serge can tell she's been crying despite how happy she is forcing herself to sound. He can also tell that she's been drinking and he wants to blame her friend Sarah, or their mother or even Patsy but he knows that if he had been there for her, if he had just flown home for her marriage then things would be different.

"Well you were right about Paolo," Saffron says. "Turns out that he just wanted a wife. Didn't matter who. He left with the stuck up cow that Mum wanted as my bridesmaid over Sarah."

He can hear Sarah drunkenly giggle in the background.

"And now Mum and Patsy are on my honeymoon and I am alone. You were right Serge, you're always right."

"Oh Saffy," Serge says.

He knows that Saffron is very much aware of the time difference between New York and London. However, he suspects that she calls him when it's the middle of the night in New York as a form of punishment. He abandoned her and now he won't come home. What's worse is he'll have a fight with Martin over his sister's late night calls in the morning over breakfast. What can he do though? He did abandon her and he feels guilty over it. And Martin's right, he should put his foot down and let his sister know that it's unacceptable when she calls.

But he won't because he owes it to his sister to be there for her when she calls him. No matter how disruptive it is.

"Mother and Patsy haven taken to going to Marilyn Manson concerts now," Saffron resignedly says.

"What's the harm in that?"

"It's not that I have an issue with them going to rock concerts or the like but it's when they come home and bring their disreputable friends with them and have an obnoxiously loud party in the lounge."

"Have you tried talking to Mum?"

Saffron sighs. "You know how well that goes over. I had to clean up sick from the kitchen sink yesterday."

"Get a maid service, Mum can afford it."

"The last two agencies have told me that they refuse to ever work with me again."

"Offer them more money, Martin always tells me that no one ever says no when you slip them more money."

"Justin already told me to try that and it failed."

"Oh," Serge says. "Try hiring a maid yourself."

"Perhaps," Saffron says.

"What's really going on?" Serge asks.

He might not have seen his sister in years but he knows her well enough to know that she's probably in the kitchen, sitting at the table, phone in hand, while she bites on her lower lip, trying to work up the nerve to tell him the truth. A Marilyn Manson concert and a pigsty of a house is not enough to call him at 3:00 in the morning.

"Mother tricked me into baring my breasts and now some stupid fashion magazine is going to sell topless pictures of me on the Eiffel Tower because Patsy hates me."

"What?" Serge asks.

So Saffron explains everything and he understands that it's not the fact that she'll be topless in some French fashion magazine, it's the fact that her mother was so willing to have someone else pretend to be her daughter for some mother-daughter fashion spread that has hurt Saffron.

"Saffy, come out to New York for a week or two. Martin and I would love to have you. Hire a nurse for Gran and let Patsy and Mum deal with life without you."

"I'd love to but Sarah's gone off the rails again."

"Bring her with you," Serge offers.

"It's bad Serge, I can't deal with all of this on my own."

He eventually convinces her to stay with her father for a few nights while their mother does whatever it is that she does. He promises to find a service that will clean up the house while she's away and Serge wishes that he could overcome his own issues and go home.

His new therapist keeps telling him that he's with living with a man who's more like his mother than he'd cared to admit. Somewhere along the line, he's become his father. The thought scares him and Serge lies awake all night long, trying to figure out where things went wrong. How is it that Saffy's the strong one?

"Serge, mother is in New York!"

Saffy's panicked voice strikes fear in his heart. He can't just pack up and leave the state or even the city for the duration of his mother's stay in New York.

"Why is she here?"

"Fashion Week and she's already told me that she wants to see you," Saffron tells him. "I tried to tell her that you were in some conference in Boston but she refused to listen."

"Thanks Saffron, I will figure this out."

His therapist (the third in three years) tells him that he has to stop avoiding his mother. That running away from the woman who gave birth to him and raised him for better or for worse is immature and is only causing him further damage. Serge is already planning on getting a new therapist since this one doesn't quite understand what she's asking him to do. Seeing his mother is terrifying. He hasn't seen her since he was eighteen. He can't just run back to mummy and let her smother him.

Martin agrees with his therapist. He even tells Serge that he can't keep running away and hiding from his mother. How can he expect to help Saffron if he can't face his mother?

A week later, Serge is the one calling Saffron in the middle of the night. He knows it's only about three or four in the morning in London but he _needs_ to hear Saffron's voice, he needs to tell her what their mother has done now.

"Serge?" Saffron sleepily says.

He hates the fact that he's waking her up in the middle of the night when she's told him how many times their mother and Patsy have selfishly done that to her. Yet as he looks over that the table where his mother is fawning over his partner, he has to tell his sister.

"Saffy, it's horrible. Mother found me. Well she found Martin first and thought that he was me. She hates the fact that I work in a bookstore."

"What!" Saffron shouts into the phone. "You work in a bookstore? I thought you were going to become a professor."

"I couldn't Saffy, I couldn't handle the constant rejection and the constant putting yourself out there, it was too much. But I manage the shop and when the owner retires, I am going to buy it. It's amazing, Saffy."

"Oh Serge, that sounds lovely," Saffron tells him. Yet he can hear the disappointment in her voice.

If he chooses to ignore it, is it any different than when Saffron ignores his advice to pack up and leave their mother?

"What's worse Saffy is that she's adopted Martin as her son because he fits into some stereotypical image of what a gay New York man should be."

"Martin can be rather larger than life," Saffron says.

"Yes but that's not the point," Serge states. "Our mother would rather see my partner as her son because I fail to measure up."

"Serge, darling, listen to me," Saffron quietly says. "If Mum would rather pal around with Martin this week, let her. You won't have to deal with her, let Martin have all the fun of being Mum's perfect child, while you relax and take it easy. It's a rather perfect solution to everything, don't you think?"

The problem is that although she's right, it hurts him to know that his mother is so quick to replace him with someone else. For years, Saffron's called him up, upset that their mother had gone on and on about how perfect he is compared to his sister and now he's a failure. He's even worse than Saffron. At least their mother wants Saffy to be her child.

"I guess you're right."

"Are you okay Serge?" Saffron asks.

"I'm fine Saffy, it's just hard to handle Mum when I've not been around her in years."

He knows his sister knows that he's lying but what can he do, he's chosen things to be this way. It's own fault if his mother would rather fuss over Martin than him.

* * *

"I'm pregnant Serge," Saffron says as she tries not to cry.

"Do you want me to come home?" Serge asks.

"No, I agree with your therapist that you're not ready for that."

"But how are you going to break the news to Mum and Patsy?"

"I'll just have to tell her, I guess."

"Does she know about John?"

"In what sense?"

"That he's black?"

"No," Saffron says with a sigh. "He doesn't even know."

"Maybe you should tell him first," Serge suggests.

"Yes but I don't know how to tell him. Or Mum. He disapproves of her."

"Just tell him and then tell her," Serge says. "Like ripping off a band-aid."

"I wish I could just run away," Saffron says.

"Saffy this isn't like you, you're not like me. You're strong. Tell them and it'll all work out in the end."

They speak for a few more moments before they both say goodbye and Serge is left there in the dark, wondering how he's going to manage this. He's going to be the worse uncle ever. Just like he's the worse brother ever. His niece or nephew are never going to know him as anything more than a discombobulated voice on the other end of the phone because he can't work out his own issues with his own mother.

"I've done it Serge. I've kicked the pair of them out of the house."

"What?" Serge sleepily says.

He should be used to this once a week phone call in the middle of the night but it always seems to be a surprise for him.

"I've kicked Mum and Patsy out. It's my house and I don't see why I should have my daughter living in that insanity."

"But will Mum and Patsy do?"

Saffron sighs and there's a long pause before she responds.

"And why should I care what they do? They can go live at Patsy's apartment for all I care."

"Saffy, aren't you being a little harsh?"

"Harsh? That woman yelled at my daughter. She refuses to call Jane anything but Lola and she told me that I failed at my marriage with John because I realized that I am not meant to live with a polygamist. And Patsy just goaded her on. I'm done with them and if _you_ of all people think that I am being too harsh, then maybe I am done with you."

Saffron slams the phone done and Serge trembles in fear. He's a horrible brother but he needs Saffy and her late night calls. He can't do this without her.

"Saffy are you going to be okay?" Serge asks.

Their conversation has been mostly long pauses and awkwardness. What does one say when his sister has just come home after being in prison for two years.

"I'll be fine. Quite frankly, I let my ego get the better of me. I thought that I was doing something good to make up for all of mother's sins when I was just breaking the law. I know better."

"That's not what I mean," Serge says.

"Are you going to be okay going back to Mum's house and the chaos there."

"There's no need to be worried about me, I'll be fine with Mum and Patsy."

"Saffy, you know that..."

Saffron interrupts him. "Look Serge, it'll be fine. Prison was far too quiet and Mum and Patsy need me."

She doesn't explain and Serge doesn't ask.

It's the story of their many conversations since he walked out of his sister's life. One of them calls the other in the middle of the night on the pretence that they're still close to another, that they're still two halves of a whole. In reality, they're barely anything more than strangers now.

Maybe he should take Martin up on moving back to London to get a fresh start. His bookstore can function without him and there's not much in New York tying him there other than the fact that his mother's not there. What holds him back is that he's afraid that after twenty years away of going home and seeing that Saffron is a stranger to him.

The late night calls might be a charade of closeness but at least he can pretend that they mean something and that he's not a stranger in his sister's life.

((END))


End file.
